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First of all, thank you all for your thoughts and prayers during this time. This morning at 7:15am MDT, Eben Buay Garner was born and immediately graduated this earth to enter the embrace of our Lord Jesus. He was 1 pound 7.5 ounces and 12 inches long. Upon initial examination of the placenta, it became clear that the issue began at the time of implantation and this was the only possible outcome. We will find out more in the coming days, but we are thankful that God gave us a glimpse that, as hard as it is to understand, this was His plan from the beginning. 1 Samuel 2:6 is one of the passages I hold on to, which says, “”The LORD brings death and makes alive; he brings down to the grave and raises up.” This speaks to me the fact that God is sovereign and is taking us through circumstances to the place of His best. Again, it may be extremely hard to understand, especially when we encounter situations like this one, but know that God is holding Eben close right now and what more could an earthly father ask for his child.
Lois is recovering currently. All is looking good but the doctors will continue to observe her and take appropriate action over the weekend.
grant and lois
As soon as I sent the last update, things changed a bit. The docs came in and let us know they are concerned with Lois’ platelet count. Short story is the baby needs to come soon.
Thank you for your continual prayer.
grant and lois
Grant here again. First my apologies for the delay in getting out an update on Lois and the baby. As we are finding out, the induction process has the possibility of taking a while. There is no normal for this but they are saying it could even take two or three days. Something about trying to get the body from zero to sixty in a short amount of time, especially when it thinks, “hey this is too early for this”.
Things are progressing nicely, though slow. For those med heads out there, the current numbers are 50% effaced, 3 cm dilated and the baby is in position zero. I won’t bore you with explanations, rather say we are just about half way there. As the baby is smaller, all the professionals feel that the birth will happen without full dilation.
As in everything we have experienced, once again God’s timing is perfect. One example of this, our primary OB doctor is presiding over the high risk labor and delivery department currently. To put this into perspective, in addition to her normal clinic hours, she does one 36 hour shift in labor and delivery each month. When we arrived the hospital, she had just begun this month’s shift and has been able to personally oversee everything. It is difficult to properly explain how important this has been, but with the unique nature of our situation, no question, this has been an amazing gift from God.
We greatly appreciate your thoughts and prayers during this time. I will make an effort to keep the updates coming, especially when this may take a while. Continue to cry out to the Lord with us for His glory to be clear!
grant and lois
Grant here. Just a quick update to call out for prayer. Yesterday (Tuesday, July 20) Lois was having some unexplained pain and nausea which prompted us to head to the hospital and begin our “doctor recommended” hospital bed rest. Upon arrival many tests were done to determine the cause of the pain. Finally, this morning (Wednesday, July 21) at approx 6am, the doctor’s came to the conclusion that Lois is experiencing Preeclampsia (https://health.google.com/health/ref/Preeclampsia). If you know anything about this condition, it is quite serious and the only treatment is delivering the baby.
And so it begins, literally, as we are currently preparing to deliver our son. Please pray that God be glorified throughout the process and that His will be done. Of course we continue to cry out with our desire that He would grant safety and health to mom and baby.
More updates to come.
grant and lois
Two days have managed to drift by since our last appointment for the baby and everything is changing. Let me fill you in …
Last week? Or maybe it was the week before now, (my weeks are running together) I went to the hospital one more time for bleeding. I don’t like to consider myself alarmist and I feel I’ve been doing a pretty good job of being calm and collected about everything that’s taking place within. But, after Grant looked at me and said, “Are you ok, you look pretty rough …” and I did some more napping, we decided to go get checked out again. Monitors, blood draws and baby kicks and I was out of the hospital once again and sent home to bleed some more.
I’ve been told this is alarming and I’m actually losing “too much” – enough to come to the hospital quite frequently if I want. But, every time I go in, I check out fine, all my blood counts look great and they send me home. I think MY GOD IS AMAZING!
So, this has continued to be thematic and since it’s not combined with other symptoms we’ve been taking things as they come, moving forward, trusting God to guide us in what is best.
SO… two days ago I’m lying on my back, once again, seeing what I can see in the haze that is my ultra sound. From my perspective my placenta looks more normal than ever, the baby is growing, spine, legs, arms, and … an eye! Wow!
Updates from the doctors: Your baby is 556 grams, you have 3 cm of fluid, “not much has changed,” the placenta may look more normal because it is thinning out. BAM!
“WHAT?” Sometimes, I just wish they could rejoice with me over something. For me this whole day was huge. We’ve been waiting for this baby to grow to 500 grams. 556 grams was actually exceeding everyone’s expectations. Most of the doctors didn’t even think he would make that.
That brings us to today. For those of you who don’t want to look it up 556 grams is just a little over 1 pound. Still pretty small and not ideal, but what doctors consider viable for life outside the womb. Due to where we are in the pregnancy as well as our history of bleeds doctors recommend hospital bed rest from here on out. We’re now in a new season of decisions and pressures that are newly challenging for us and we’d appreciate your prayer as we navigate these and communicate with our medical team. All our love!
Since I was a little girl I have wanted to have one thing engraved on my tombstone (that is, if I actually have a tombstone): Swallowed up by LIFE. I remember reading the verse (2 Cor. 5:4) and something inside me just knew that was it – that was what was going to happen when I left this world. I was going to be swallowed up by life. I’ve always loved that phrase, but it wasn’t until recently I was once again reminded where my future lies.
Processing the birth of a baby, even a healthy baby, is a journey. Instead of two, now you are three … instead of thinking about two mouths to feed, you’re thinking about a third. Will you use bottles, will you breastfeed … how will you be a parent?
Into the mix enters a complication … for us it just happened to be lack of amniotic fluid. All other questions are put on hold and everything urgent moves to the forefront. Will this baby survive? What happens if the baby is born at home at 19 weeks, at 20 weeks, at 21 weeks? What happens, what happens, what happens? Scenarios are plentiful, but answers really aren’t. God knows His plan … we know Him.
Grappling with these questions was hard enough. Other questions ran deeper … God, what are you saying? Am I ready to let go? Am I ready for a child? What do I want? What do you want? Is this baby going to live? Is this baby going to live? The question I was really asking was, is this baby going to die?
I often listen to the pastor from our church in Franklin, TN via podcast (it makes a workout speed by). He happened to be taking a break from the usual series that Sunday to talk about heaven. His son was killed in a car crash about a year prior and a book has been written on all God has taught them (www.haveheart.net for more info.) He was speaking about being swallowed up by life.
My heart soared to hear those words again. I am ALIVE. Resting in relationship with Christ now, I will be truly LIVING when I am clothed in the newness that comes from living outside this earthly body. Death will be for me, as Paul says, a gain, a graduation of sorts. There is so much that burdens this earthly life as we are on a journey, not at home. God reminded me that He is the God of the living and not of the dead (matt. 22:32). Whatever He brings about is good. If our son lives here to journey with us, we will rejoice in that. If he LIVES in heaven, having been swallowed up by life, we will rejoice in that. Either way, our son lives. There is no death; and in that is great joy.
Until you have experienced this life giving peace, I suppose it may seem illusive – impossible. But, in the stillness, where the worry and wonder creep in, we have come to know peace and a calm like a deep, smooth sea. There is indeed a peace that passes all understanding! (Phil. 4:7)
It had been several weeks of dr. visits, information, thoughts from strangers, family, friends’, … the “input” list was intense. Somewhere amidst all the information we just needed a break. It’s like the saying, “everything in moderation.” Even good things in bulk can be, well, not so good. So, we went to a movie.
As the previews scrolled up guess what … a documentary all about babies. Grant and I sat there and smiled. We looked at each other and I’m pretty sure I said, “Oh, that’s so cute.” Considering what we’d just been through, in my mind, it seemed logical to cry and be sad, but I wasn’t. No part of me was in pain. I was all joy for these babies were delightful. I remember the documentary preview now more than the movie … in fact; I’m not sure what we saw. But, the peace of God was there in that theatre – with us as we left. He is walking with us, enabling us to do that which He has called us to.
I have had more joy not understanding – just accepting. Each day brings a new question, a new joy, and the deep abiding peace that can only come from Jesus.
Flutter, flutter and a question floats through my mind … Is that the baby? After sitting still a few moments and placing my hand on my stomach I felt the first FIRM kick I’ve been able to feel our little one deal. Movement has continued and I know God is doing a mighty thing!
Everyday I feel more joy not because we’ve made it another day, but because God is confirming His word, revealing truth, and showing us tangibly his goodness. He is doing a work that only He could do and we walk in faith that is strengthened daily.
We received final word yesterday on the analysis of all the genetic testing done as a result of our biopsy. Everything is normal. Nothing is wrong chromosomally or otherwise … as far as they can tell. Of course, there’s always the caution they can’t see everything so something could be wrong, but I’m rejoicing in God’s perfect purpose for this baby and sense a deep peace about what’s happening.
Our appt. today was a continued God happening. We had anticipated needing to go in playing defense, “enforcing our game plan,” so to speak. Our doctor has been continually wary, wanting to keep a very close watch on me, and some of her first comments today were, “I don’t need to see you as much anymore.” (jaws drop) So, we’ll be going in less frequently (probably every other week at first) barring any unforeseen circumstances.
Little one is sounding great … his heart beat is good. He had the hiccups today (he must be mine) and I was able to feel him respond as she moved the doppler on my stomach. It was a very new experience for me. No ultra sound was involved, but I felt more involved and connected with our son. Since we have not had an ultra sound recently we are not aware of the amount of fluid present, but movement is very good. Thank you for praying! Continue to lift these next 14 weeks up in prayer. We have a long way to go, and everything is possible with GOD!
Shortly after the seizure episode that placed me in a coma and sent my world into orbit I went to church with my parents. I knew the experience had affected me to some degree, but I wasn’t quite prepared for what was coming. As is usually the case, at this church, I was approached by someone who asked the following, “Where do you live?” I looked them straight in the eye and stared.
I was thinking, hard, but couldn’t for the life of me, think where I lived. I knew it was a place I’d grown up. I’d lived there a long time, but nothing was coming to my mind. The longer I stood there, the more helpless I felt and tears threatened to undo me. Communicative Failure!
Now, though in very different circumstance, I was once again on the brink of communicative failure. I was experiencing the same dilemma. We had been told women in my position went into labor, 70 percent of them anyway, within a week of the time their water breaks. I’d beaten the odds so far, but not by much and each day was a new challenge to my thinking. Would we make it? Would we deliver a healthy baby?
How do you communicate things you don’t understand? And wording … how should we word things so people didn’t think we were automatically going to miscarry, which was the assumption every time we spoke about our situation. We didn’t have any amniotic fluid, but how did we explain our little one was still hanging on, over and over and over? There was exhaustion to the effort on this verbal jungle gym and I was running out of fuel.
When you’re not sure which end is up, be still. Be still and know that I am God (psalm 46:10).
I knew I wasn’t able. Striving to communicate properly in any given situation, I’d inevitably fail. Yet God was calling me to himself each day. I was wanted (weak as I was) … it was beautiful. In the quiet God met me and cleared up the jumble of “stuff” I was dealing with. It continues to be a place of trust, a haven … and as the clouds part it becomes clear just which way is up.
Yesterday was yet another appointment and one more day God has given this child to live. We are praising the Lord for that and continue to wait on Him for His best in this. I have little new to report except that the doctor was able to take one look at my belly and say it had grown. Our baby is currently small, as am I, so this was exciting. In addition, I’m starting to feel the need for more food (aka. hunger pangs), so maybe he’s going to surprise us all.
We also met with a neonatologist to get her perspective (more from the side of the baby) on things that are happening as we move forward. There are many potential risks … let’s be honest, there always are. However there are many factors that we can’t predict, can’t know, and can’t see. It was encouraging to hear they didn’t know much right now because they can’t see, feel, and touch inside. It’s as if they are trying to give us their best based on their views through the lens of a giant curtain.
God is not limited, however to this curtained view and our prayer is that we will continue to trust His vision and enjoy Him as He shares with us more of His heart in the process.
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