Healing Journey Part 2: It’s Not A Disease, It’s A Condition

“It’s not a disease, it’s a condition.”  Filtering in and out, this phrase became a motto. When you have a condition it’s some comfort that “it’s not a disease”, but it also means you’re probably stuck with it.  Dwelling with epilepsy seemed difficult, disease or not, and it was still so unknown.  Those of us who’ve lived with this particular condition and those of you who’ve cared for us understand this dilemma.  Educated guesses lead to a solution, hopefully, but in the end it’s all trial and error.

I experienced this trial and error a great deal in my adolescent years.  I was working through who I was and who I would become under the shadow of the ever-present threat of seizure.  I was also under another shadow.  God almighty had me under his wing and I was learning to take refuge there.

I had my first seizure around 4:30 am one morning as my Dad and I read the bible together.  What a beautiful place God chose to begin this journey with me!  Initially, what I understood of my circumstance let to questioning … WHY?  Hate came next. I hated this condition, the way I felt, the way I felt people looked at me because of it and the answers that just weren’t there.   Love entered in, however and I began to understand.   God was so close, loved me so much and was using people all around me to bless my life and hold me up through all the pain.  He was building a family that was closer than ever before.  He was opening my eyes to the reality of the pain of others and as I saw through his lens everything I’d believed based on my feelings melted away in His truth.   The deepening of the journey gently continues.

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