Baby Journey Part 1: May it be to Me

Marked with briars and brambles, this journey has been home to clearings infused with peace where nothing makes sense, but everything seems good.  This is the place of surrender and God enables us daily to walk the next step in that plan.  As I wait for God to reveal His purposes through this situation I am reminded of who He is and His faithfulness to speak continually.  We are not alone.

These next series of posts are written for record, but also that we may fill you in on what has taken place in the journey thus far … more emotions than details.  God has moved in and loved us, shown up to comfort us, and I believe taken the pressure we could not handle and lifted it just enough.  We are his treasure and He is ours!

So, as we backtrack … enjoy the journey! May you be blessed by the Love GOD is waiting to lavish on YOU!


News of loss is never received with much joy … understandably so.  Upon first hearing we could lose this baby I wasn’t really thinking.  I was sitting in a dr.’s office listening to words coming at me, trying to hold myself together until I could get to a safety zone.  I wasn’t joyful, I wasn’t sad … I just was.

Entering the safe zone (home) we picked up where we’d left off.  We slept, worked, ate and proceeded to do what we’d been doing the night before when my water had broken so suddenly.  Before long, one sentence having something to do with God’s best for his children broke through into the painful truth that this child may not make it; and the torrent of tears I had been holding onto since the night before came gushing out.

I find it hard to describe what this moment was like.  I know it’s not necessary, nor can one truly grasp something until they’ve been there, but loss and mourning are universal and at some point it’s likely you will experience them both.   God met me as I wept.  I was frozen and hurting, but comforted.  It’s something I can’t even begin to put into words.  It is too precious to describe.

Matthew 5:4 says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”  As I read this anew today I realized that I am blessed.  If I never have cause to mourn, to ache, to grieve … how can I know God as my comforter?  In this, God was choosing to reveal more of himself to me.  He was showing me his care for me, his care for this baby.   His comfort was just as real as the pain, and beautiful, so beautiful! Father, May it be to me as you have said.

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