Frequent Flyers

One, two, three doctor appt’s., what’s becoming the weekly blood draw, and one hospital tour later I have officially been dubbed a “frequent flyer.”  All of you who have become immune to the joy of flying, take a look around and appreciate it once again.  It may be one day you’ll be grounded, as I am, in a manner of speaking.  Today, I will try and share just a bit of our daily past (yesterday) with you, but this may be a longer one.

Morning and afternoon collided.  We scored a parking space at the hospital, having just spent a quick 5min. grabbing taco bell drive thru, and stuffing our faces, headed into a series of appointments we knew would take the afternoon.   Our first was a tour of the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).   We were able to see the space we would likely occupy for the birth of our baby and should there be any hospitalization prior to birth, what that would look like.  Mutual agreement was that we won’t go back anytime soon.

Our next appt. was with the dr. we’ve been seeing weekly.  Her exam revealed some progression in our case.  I had some pain near the uterus, which combined with a blood draw that had been slightly off the week before and new progression in my fluids (we went into the hospital the previous Monday to be monitored) raised her level of concern.  It was enough for her to make the recommendation that we end the pregnancy.

Grant and I did not feel ending the pregnancy at this point was right, but hasty.  I was convinced I may just be experiencing gas pains.   An ultra sound was still scheduled and we determined to see what happened there. We planned to return and talk with our dr. once she had the results from our blood work.  Step by step HE leads us!

On my back, once again, staring at a screen … I’m trying to determine where the baby is.  Without the amniotic fluid it’s a pretty intense search.  Findings from the day: Our little one is significantly smaller than he should be.  We are currently at 23 weeks and he’s measuring about 18 weeks.  There is a fluid pocket in the head called a ventricle, which is normal to have, and our baby’s size is on the high side of normal (almost large).  In addition, leg and arm bones are super small.  They confirmed much of what we already knew, i.e. the placenta is irregular.  However, the blood flow to the baby is normal.  This then, doesn’t explain why the baby is so small.  All of these factors together lead dr.’s to think it’s probable something genetic has happened with the baby.

The dr. presented us all the bad news, but I’ve been holding onto this one beautiful confirmation of God’s love and faithfulness.  We have a boy! Yes, the tech was able to see anatomy and just as God revealed in the beginning, we are going to have a son.  The minute he said it’s a boy I just started smiling and all the “bad” news hasn’t really mattered that much because I know God’s in control. He has spoken and whatever He brings is right and good for us.

So … back to our regular dr. where all the blood work came back normal and the consensus is I’m “beautiful on paper.”    We were given the option to do a placental biopsy, which would give us more information on what might be going on genetically, but also would allow us more insight into any subclinical infection that may be brewing.  We have decided to do this whenever they can schedule it. Most of all, we need wisdom from the King of Kings for we know only in Jesus is true LIFE found.  Pray that as we walk with Him in this we will understand His heart more and more!