29 weeks brought severe chest and shoulder pain and after much deliberation it was determined I had pre-eclampsia. I‘d had it since the beginning of the pregnancy, unnoticed. God had purpose in the time I was able to carry our son and I treasure every moment we shared. There was no solution, but to birth this baby.
I entered the three most intense days of my life. For those who prayed, thank you … you are the reason we made it. I was awake for three days straight. This is not beneficial for someone with epilepsy as sleep deprivation almost always triggers a seizure. I made it through seizure free.
Though I was awake, not everyone around me could keep their eyes open. There were shift changes here and there and I had moments alone, still … quiet. In the darkness of that delivery room one night I lay, processing the pain and through the blur of my exhaustion God filled my heart with this message from Psalm 103:
Praise the LORD, oh my soul, and forget not all his benefits –
Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
Who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the Eagles. ….
Praise the LORD, oh my soul, and forget not all his benefits –
Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.
I was tripping over the other words, getting them out of order in my head, but these were the steady few …
Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.
Tears flowed from my eyes. Filled with the drugs I’d been taking they felt so cleansing as they burned down my cheeks and as this message soaked into my spirit I was reminded once again of the promise and the fulfillment that would soon take place. I could not yet see it with my eyes, but I had to believe it was being accomplished.